What Does Sex Compatibility Means? The Impact of Physical Incompatibility on Marriage


Nowadays, many individuals have choices on how they combine the different aspects of intimacy in their lives, whether they choose to marry or cohabit with their partners without even marrying. This is because they want to see if they are really compatible with their partners or not. In this article, we will explain important points about sex compatibility, the notable impact of sex incompatibility on marriage, the primary factors affecting sex compatibility, and how to deal with sex incompatibility. 

What is Sex Compatibility?

Sexual compatibility is a deep sense of soulful connection that affects a couple as it involves the dense intertwining of their personal and social lives. Some medical experts defined this matter as the extent how which a couple views that they share sexual beliefs, desires, needs, and preferences with their partner. 

Moreover, Healthline stated in their article that sexual compatibility is the extent to which similarities exist between actual turn-ons and turn-offs for each partner in the cognition, behavioral and emotional sense. It goes through how you and your partner align your beliefs, needs, and desires in your sexual activities such as frequency and duration of sex, the preferred environment of sex, and many others.

The relationship between attachment to partners and sexual compatibility and discovered that individuals higher in attachment anxiety or avoidance are likely to be less sexually compatible because they don’t feel their sexual desires, needs, and preferences are shared with their partners. However, attachment anxiety was not a primary predictor of sexual compatibility, but sexual compatibility is 45% predicted by attachment avoidance. With higher attachment avoidance, sexual compatibility decreases.

Sexual compatibility is a fundamental element that shapes the sexual functioning of an intimate relationship. Many research studies have found that sex compatibility is significantly related to sexual satisfaction and a desire for sexual activity. Thus, it is very crucial for romantic partners to be honest about each other’s sexual preferences in order for them to get to know and understand if they are sexually compatible or not.

Impact of Sex Incompatibility on Marriage

Sex incompatibility is the inability of one or both spouses to make the crucial changes to grow and develop in the ways that are necessary. It occurs when one’s significant other does not have a clear understanding of the varying sexual perspectives, needs, and desires of men and women, or simply, his or her spouse. For example, you and your partner have mismatched libidos: he or she has a higher sexual drive while you’re the opposite.

It does not mean that you or your spouse is bad at sex. Sex incompatibility happens when each person’s mood differs from one another during sex. Perhaps there are times that the couple doesn’t get along for some reason. Thus, sex incompatibility has an impact on their marriage because they experience a desire discrepancy which has negative implications for their sexual and relationship satisfaction, mostly if it happens constantly in the long term. 

Primary Factors Affecting Sexual Compatibility

What are the most common factors that affect sexual compatibility? Individuals need to consider these factors such as physical attraction or sexual arousal before going into a relationship with another person. If you want to start a relationship, consider choosing a partner based on physical attraction and emotional compatibility. The power of sexual attraction and deep emotional connection is necessary to keep the couple close and committed. 

Below are the primary factors related to sexual compatibility:

  • Positive self-awareness
  • Mental body image
  • Personality-Psychological Maturity
  • Emotional connection
  • Open communication
  • Sexual satisfaction
  • Relationship maintenance

How to Deal with Sexual Incompatibility 

Sexual incompatibility is a common issue affecting many couples around the world. It happens due to many factors like social issues, personal problems, family crises, psychological problems, etc. If you and your partner have sexual incompatibility, there are effective ways that you can do to improve your marriage and build up your sexual compatibility once again:

  • Have open and honest communication with your spouse.
  • Cultivate a continuous masturbation practice to help your lower sex drive partner by scheduling your sexual activity together.
  • Discuss each other’s needs and preferences when both of you search for a middle ground in sex.
  • Be flexible and respectful towards each other’s sexual desire and willingness.
  • Exert great effort in finding ways to get connected with each other (eg. hugging, holding hands, etc.)
  • Compromise with your partner about the frequency of sex.
  • Bridge the gap with your willingness.
  • Mix and match your sexual desires by building your sexual intimacy  (eg. Explore new sexual positions in bed, role-playing, tickling each other, etc.)
  • Be open about each other’s insecurities and continue to encourage and strengthen each other emotionally. 


Medical experts, family counselors, and sex therapists say that sexual compatibility should grow over the course of a relationship. If you feel that you and your spouse have sex incompatibility, there are many ways that you can do to improve it. To maintain and build up your sexual compatibility with your spouse/partner, it is very important to have open and honest communication with each other and to do your best in improving your relationship in a physical, emotional, and spiritual sense. It’s about constantly sharing each other’s needs, desires, and preferences around sex and other essential aspects of a relationship.

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