Symptoms of Childcare Neurosis: Can It Happen to Anyone?

Mom Postpartum & Mental Health

“I’ve been feeling unwell for a while somehow have you ever felt like this? For example, you don’t have a fever but your head is heavy, or you don’t feel tired enough to fall asleep, but you can’t get rid of it. This may be a symptom of childcare neurosis.

In this article, we will explain the main symptoms of childcare neurosis and possible solutions for different ages of children.

If you feel that something is wrong lately, please check the first checklist.

Check your childcare neurosis level right now

Please check all that apply to you.

  • Frequent headache lately
  • I feel irritable even though it is not before my period
  • I tend to eat too much.
  • I don’t have much of an appetite
  • Difficulty sleeping even though I am tired of getting up in the morning
  • I can’t take up hobbies that I used to like
  • Emotionally scolding my child more often 
  • I often think, “I wish I had never had children.”
  • I start to cry at the small thing.

If you checked only one or two of the items 1-6 above, you may be feeling a little tired from raising your child. There is no need to worry so much about childcare neurosis, so you can wait and see.

However, if you check more than three from 1 to 6, or if you checkboxes 7 to 9, you may have signs of childcare neurosis. Please talk with your family or local health center about your current symptoms as soon as possible, and take time away from your child to get a good rest.

Factors that tend to cause childcare neurosis by child’s age

What kinds of situations tend to cause childcare neurosis? Here are some examples of a child’s age.

Around 0 to 1 year old

It tends to be caused by a combination of worries about breastfeeding, such as “I can’t produce any milk” or “I’m not sure if I’m getting enough milk ……”.

There are also problems related to food, such as “I’m worried about how to proceed with baby food” and “My child doesn’t eat well.”

The continuous crying at night and the inability to get the sleep you want can lead to physical and mental exhaustion and childcare neurosis.

Around 2 years old

At the age of two, the child’s ego begins to grow, and it is said that many children begin the so-called “horrible two” or “NO stage”, in which they react with “no, I don’t like it” to even the slightest thing.

Although this is a normal developmental process, there are cases where it takes a long time to change clothes and eat, which used to go smoothly before, leading to frustration for mothers and a loss of confidence in childcare.

There is no one to talk to or share the difficulties of dealing with a child who is in the earliest stages, and the stress gradually builds up and can lead to neurosis.

Also, some children do not stop crying at night even at the age of two, although it is less frequent than at the age of 0-1. In such cases, in addition to the mother’s own lack of sleep, you may become mentally unstable due to anxiety about your child’s development, wondering why your child is still crying at night at the age of two, or whether the crying is due to lack of love.

Around 3 years old

This is the time when many mothers have a younger child. In addition to taking care of their younger children, they also have to deal with their older children turning into babies, and some mothers find themselves exhausted with no time to rest.

In addition, the age of three is also the time to finish toilet training in preparation for kindergarten. In many cases, this is due to impatience, such as “other children don’t already need to wear diapers, but my child still does,” or “what if he can’t do toilet training by the time he enters kindergarten?”

As mentioned above, if you are physically tired through child-rearing, if you are constantly tense because of the many things you have to do, if you lack confidence in your child-rearing and live your life with a strong sense of anxiety, wondering if you are doing everything right…you may end up with child-rearing neurosis.

The relationship with your partner is also important. If your relationship with your partner is not good, such as “I want to rely on you, but I can’t because he’s too busy with work,” “I feel jealous when other dads are good at it,” or “We have a lot of disagreements about childcare,” it is not uncommon for this to lead to childcare neurosis.

Is there a certain type of person who is prone to childcare neurosis?

“Perfectionists” who are meticulous and detailed, who are concerned about how others do things, and who have a hard time relying on others tend to be prone to childcare neurosis.

Also, those who are “too serious”, such as not being able to do things as they are taught in childcare books or at the hospital, need to be careful.

Of course, not only personality but also the environment can contribute to the susceptibility.

If you don’t have anyone around you with whom you can share your worries and pains of child-rearing, or if you don’t have anyone you can ask about things you are worried about or don’t understand about child-rearing, the risk of child-rearing neurosis will also increase, so be careful.

Conclusion

To have childcare neurosis is not an uncommon thing but if you know and care for yourself and if you have someone around you to rely on, you may be able to avoid this neurosis. If you get some checks from the checklist, please talk with your partner or family as soon as possible. 

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