If you are trapped in the “work” of raising a child in a closed room, filled with unmanageable stress, you need to ventilate and get rid of it.
If you blame yourself for holding back too much or forcing yourself to do too much, your body and mind will not survive.
Let’s think together about what you can do to break the negative spiral of closed-door parenting and regain normal vivacity.
A closed-door environment that is a hard weight on child-rearing and relationships
“I have to bear the responsibility of bearing and raising a child all by myself.”
Such a situation and psychological state are one of the factors that drive you to raise your children in a closed room. Relationships that keep you in a small space for a long time make it difficult to maintain a mental balance, and stress builds up.
Especially during the child-rearing period, we tend to hold on to our children without being able to ask for help, even if we are having a hard time or are worried about something, feeling alone and as if we are left out of society.
It is natural to feel exhausted if you are alone in dealing with the daily worry, hardships, and embarrassment of being pushed around to the extent that you cannot keep up with just how cute your baby is.
Think of your newborn baby as an individual separate from his or her parents, an immature human being who will do his or her best to assert himself or herself one way or the other.
No matter how much love you have for someone, taking care of them alone, raising children, or caring for them is hard work. The more meticulous and serious you are, the more unworthy you feel.
That “tired” feeling is not your fault. It is not a lack of love, parental awareness, or patience.
Many parents, and anyone who has become a parent, know the feeling of being stuck. Therefore, why don’t you take the initiative and talk to someone about your pain and suffering?
A closed-door is a closed mind! Take an open-air bath for those tired feelings!
Closed environments and repetitive routines require a change of pace. Before your mind becomes exhausted, actively take in some fresh air.
Caring for a parent or an ill person may lead to a closed environment, just like raising a child. The form of relationships in a closed space is the same, and there is a limit to the number of people who can be cared for in a closed room.
Whether the other person is your parent or your own child, one-on-one caregiving and childcare can make you feel stuck and trapped.
“You can’t take your eyes off them and always pay close attention to them.”
When you are constantly on your toes, it is easy to neglect yourself and not even notice that you need help.
Aren’t you in the following situations?
- No contact with the outside world.
- No contact with anyone else.
- Not thinking about anything other than raising your child.
Before you start to run out of steam with what you have in your closed room, try opening a window. You can open the window of your mind by meeting with people, the window of the Internet, or even the window of your room.
To stop the closed-door parenting is an outdoor air bath for starters. Let something fresh into the closed room to dilute the density of your simmering feelings.
The modern cycle of loneliness in closed-door parenting
Why are we trapped in the situation of closed-door parenting in the first place? Let’s consider a situation where parents and children are isolated from the world.
There are so many reasons for this: the nuclear family, unmarried births, the declining birthrate, the aging society, etc. There are very few environments nowadays where two or three families can live together, so there is little opportunity for everyone to welcome the baby and participate in childcare.
The grandparents’ generation is still young enough to be active, and only a few of them are dedicated to being caretakers of their grandchildren; they are working or enjoying their own lives.
There is no system in place for families to participate in childcare together, and it is difficult to find people who can afford to ask for help, so the childcare environment seems to become more isolated.
In an aging society, the number of elderly people is increasing, but the youthful elderly are still being forced to work, and the older generation of childcare professionals who want to rely on them are very busy.
On top of that, there’s no room for complaining when you’re being told that “I used to raise my children on my own with a lot of effort, so of course everyone should be able to do it when they become a parent.”
But it’s okay. It is precise because we live in such a time that there are places that can help us. Let’s listen to the voices of people who feel the same way and are in a similar environment.
It is very important to keep your daily life with your child ventilated so that you don’t end up raising your child in a closed door.
Why don’t you find a vent where you can listen to the outside world, take in information, and get it off your mind?
When you’re feeling blocked and in pain, it’s hard to go out and interact with people. At such times, why not open a window on social networking sites?
There are various types of social networking sites, such as official sites where you can ask for basic advice on childcare, and message boards where you can talk about your true feelings and complaints.
You may find the words you want me to say to you or the words you want me to deliver to you. Communication can be a powerful tool.