Even if couples are both excited and ready to welcome a new family member, as the period of pregnancy becomes longer, there may be some misunderstanding between partners because of the changes brought about by this new phase in the relationship.
These changes can trigger “pregnancy crisis”, and it is a common problem faced by many couples during pregnancy. Although the desire to have a baby is the same for both, why do such things happen?
Let’s take a look at the possible main causes and what we can do to avoid fertility/pregnancy crisis.
Seven Major Causes of Pregnancy Crisis
Pregnancy is a very delicate phase and no matter how close a couple is, a slight difference in perspective may lead to pregnancy crisis. It seems that there are common reasons for these issues.
For women, it becomes difficult to become pregnant with age. There is also an increase of health risk. Because the period during which pregnancy is possible is also limited within a month, women may feel impatient. Unless men can fully understand the feeling of women’s fear of this type of pressure, issues during pregnancy become easy to bear.
Difference in priority
Couples may not agree on the timing of pregnancy. One may want to have a baby ‘right now’, while the other one prefers to take things slowly.
When infertility treatment is performed, the physical burden of physical examination, medication, etc. becomes a source of anxiety for a couple. The disappointment felt by a partner when accused of not being able to get pregnant will become a major cause of rift in the relationship.
Sometimes sympathy is not mutual between a couple, and ideas are not completely transmitted which leads to disbelief. For example, there may be a difference in how a woman and man perceives a story about the anxiety and the sorrow felt when the woman gets her period. While women seek understanding and consent, men tend to make a theoretical reply or return a simple reply with a few words, so it may seem that communication is insufficient.
Mandatory marital life
Sexual life is especially affected greatly by physical condition and feelings during pregnancy. There are many men who become reluctant in facing these challenges. It seems that for some, if they get less sexual activity, their focus on the partner also diminishes and they feel less responsible towards the woman.
Married couples problem
It seems that there are cases where marital problems and pregnancy issues are mixed up. Marital problems may extend and involve pregnancy even if they are unrelated.
Differences in opinion on infertility treatment
If pregnancy does not happen as expected, couples may consider getting infertility treatments. However, if one of them perceives the other as having a low motivation and not making enough effort to conceive, then this may cause disappointment and resentment.
‘Failing to get pregnant’ crisis
Since pregnancy is a couple’s work, both should share the feeling of sorrow and support each other when their efforts to conceive are not being rewarded. There may be differences in the level or strength of emotions felt, but they should not be very large.
When a partner spends a lot of time at work, the other may feel left out. Maintaining consciousness of each other’s presence, and facing challenges together is key to avoid pregnancy crises.
For that purpose, it is important to discuss pregnancy as a couple and focus on sharing the same pregnancy goals. Get into the details of the time that you need to spend together, and the hours necessary for work. Express how you feel and talk about your infertility treatments, financial problems, etc.
You might also prepare each other for whenever the other one gets depressed, or not in the mood, by telling your partner in advance about what you’d prefer for them to do in such situations.
If a couple can freely communicate with each other about the direction that they are taking together as partners, which may extend to the possibility of welcoming children by using foster care systems and others and if you can talk about countermeasures whenever you don’t get along, it would make it easier for both parties to relax and enjoy their pregnancy journey together.
Pregnancy is not a goal. When a couple becomes a mom and dad, time should be spent with each other carefully to strengthen the couple’s bonds not only during the period of pregnancy, but also to prepare themselves in bringing up children.